Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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