Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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