I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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