I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
