he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
