That's intense
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
