This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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