is wine microwaveable?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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