Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday