All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself