Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me