You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
