Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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