He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
