I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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