i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
