bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize