Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
