apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy