jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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