just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize