Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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