she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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