And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
