"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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