it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize