Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.