SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Randomize