Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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