shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
