You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
