I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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