I don't usually arrange sex via text message
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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