Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
