Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize