Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
