She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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