At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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