New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
BRING THE BAGELS
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
not ubering you a puppy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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