If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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