I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
