WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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