All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
