Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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