roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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