kristin has been a bad kristin
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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