What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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