The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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