I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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