i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?