Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
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Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness