Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes