Dual....:-)
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
