I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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