Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need a beard to bite.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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